Wednesday, June 30, 2010

'Thank you kind sir for cleaning out the sand from my shorts...usually it's my mom, but not with her tongue.'
'They call me sizzle tits'

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

'Paul, I know every inch of this office, like a lovers body.'
'They should make an iphone dildo add on that vibrates. I would buy that.'
'What's up with all these people that are stand-ups that aren't funny?'

Monday, June 28, 2010

Friday, June 25, 2010

'Even Jesus celebrates gay pride.'
"Jail-House Hooch. They make that shit out of old bread."
"Note to self: Butt-Funnel"
"Isn't it a little late to be here on Erev Shabbos, Sam?"


"Puerto Rico is the Long Island of Latin America"